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The sun was rising, and I was slowly trying to piece together what I had done the night before. I had gotten drunk, then decided to hit up my f*ck buddy for his perfect, perfect penis.

As my eyes struggled to adjust to the light, I felt a soft tap on my shoulder and heard softer mumbling.“I have to go to work soon,” Kyle* said.

"I know you have an extra hour to sleep in, but I need you out now. " He kissed me on the shoulder and scurried out of the bedroom. Like I was a prostitute who had spent the last 48 hours scheming to steal his sh*t?

(Which, by the way, ranges from sweatshirts, to condoms, to gum.)Did I mention that Kyle and I had been friends with benefits for almost a year now?

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